January 07, 2010

All the Trivial Matters that Happened In 2009

This wildly popular Tianya post astounded everybody because first it was not immediately deleted and later even made to the front page...

Author: 平庸老者 ("mediocre old man")

Translation:

At the end of last year, I published an essay titled "Remembering 2008" to discuss current events from the perspective of an ordinary citizen. It roused much debate. Within days, the article was removed from most websites.

This year has almost ended. Here we are counting down the last few days of 2009. I won't write "Remembering 2009," because it is too time-consuming and will inevitably be deleted. Instead, I am just going to talk about a few trivial matters that took place in 2009.
  
January 14, 2009, the National Bureau of Statistics of China revised 2007 GDP figure to 25.731 trillion yuan, and after adjustment made according to the new currency exchange rates favoring the Chinese yuan, the Bureau presumptuously placed China as the world's third largest economy. Once again, the leaders have shown the overwhelming desire to prove their self-worth with the rapid growth of GDP. Their relentless pursuit of GDP calls to mind the need addicts have for heroin1. They revel in every minute of hallucinations and pleasures GDP rankings bring, always expecting Chinese people and the world to likewise be intoxicated and tempted.
  
However we know very well our average GDP per person ranks at 106th: the [meager] 3315 U.S. dollars lags far behind 11806 USD of reformed Russia, 17040 USD of our relative Taiwan, 19504 USD of Korea, 30755 USD of Hong Kong, 38559 USD of Japan, and 38972 USD of Singapore. Our rulers should feel ashamed, because we ranked 78th in 1960, 82nd in 1970, 105th in 1990, and 106th in 2008. The trend does not go up. It actually is coming down.
  
Importantly, our GPD growth comes at the sacrifice of energy resources and the environment; such despicable actions rob our children of their food. More importantly, most of the growth is derived from real-estate related businesses. The so-called virgin lands under development are in reality places people's survival depends on. Land developers, in collusion with local governments, invaded what should have been off-limits personal dwellings and farmlands, forcefully buying the lands with very little cost and selling the expensive newly built houses to riches such as coal mine owners. Forty percent of these ill-gotten gains fill the pockets of both the governments and their employees. Most importantly, the revenue that came with GDP growth, how much of it was used to improve citizen lives, and how much of it ended up fattening the powerful? While China marches forward, its people go backward. While China becomes rich, its people are impoverished. The government competes with the Chinese people for profits.

In 2009, quite a number of small and medium businesses filed for bankruptcy. Countless employees were laid off. While the number of breadwinners noticeably decreases, prices soars. Not only does housing cost an arm and a leg, even Napa cabbage in Beijing sells for 1.60 yuan per kg. Hearings to determine water and natural gas prices are like spring cats in heat, creating one trouble after another. They claim to be hearings, but nobody knows who voted for the representatives that represent the people. The representatives have both the traits of the prostitutes and the pimps and are utterly revolting. It appears from the way these go about problems that they are all possessed by the devils.
  
In 2009, Chinese people used trillions of hard-earned money to bail Americans out of the crisis of U.S.'s own making. This was one grand gesture of internationalism Leifengism to ensure Americans live in contentment.
  
In 2009, 21 year old Hubei female Yujiao Deng (邓玉娇) was pressured for sexual favor. Her adamant refusal--stabbing the official four times--landed her in a lawsuit that claimed her guilty. Across China, many more women voluntarily bed the powerful. Not only do they feel no shame whatsoever, the ladies scream loud enough to let everyone know they enjoy it.
  
In 2009, one National Day Parade directly and indirectly gobbled up huge amount of taxpayer money. The government refused to divulge the spending records despite of widespread demand. Our National Day is nothing but a day of celebration for a party that assumed power through violence and then promptly began authoritarianism. It has little to do with national identity. After 60 years of governance, the government has only poor people, corrupted officials, despotism and ineffectiveness to its name--surely nothing to brag about. Repentance and self-introspection would be more fitting. So many economically advanced countries do not hold National Day celebration and parade, whereas a country whose individual GDP ranking does not even cut the first hundred pours staggering amount of taxpayer money to celebrate its rule in flamboyance. This inappropriate behavior borders on mental disorder.

Historically the Chinese civilization has had few true national celebrations. They are in reality proofs that the rulers are not at all concerned about their political achievements; even the government that ended ancient feudalism was no exception. The founding of the republic merely involves killing and acquiring power, thereby realizing One Party dominance. In a democracy, this transfer of power can be easily accomplished by an election.

In 2009, the Ministry of Finance issued the "The notice on enhancing the employees' welfare and financial management of enterprises." All transportation, housing, communication bonuses must be reported as part of the employee's salary, whereas previously they were lumped into the "Employee Benefit" category. This means that, once the benefits are considered as wages, employees will have to pay more personal income tax, increasing the burden on the employer as well as the employee.

At the same time, the Ministry of Finance averts their eyes from the 900 billion yuan of spent public funds, even renaming this expenditure as "Public Funds Meal Money." It is obviously unconcerned about the officials spending 900 billion yuan for personal reasons. I wonder: should this spending count as salaries? should public servants pay income tax on this 900 billion too? While demanding more income tax from ordinary people, the Ministry of Finance continuously excuses those who appropriate public funds for inappropriate reasons. People's welfare vs. officials' gastronomic pleasures...which concerns MOF more?
  
In 2009, Chinese workers got their spotlight for the second time, not in China but in the U.S. The latest Time publication named the Chinese worker as its person of the Year 2009 runner-up. In contrast, the only Chinese people to receive attention in China for the past 30 years are--besides politicians, elites, rich entrepreneurs, hello kitty, Olympic winners, super girls--Benshan Zhao [he was in the media many times last year because of an heart attack] and shemale Xiaoshenyang. The people who generate the bulk of Chinese wealth such as workers and farmers have never received the respect and the deserved treatment from their government.

This discrimination has led to one phenomenon: people sending their offspring to college regardless of cost and means just so the children can be white-collar workers. In addition to a proliferation of exam-oriented education and a waste of educational resources to create useless graduates, this phenomenon also caused a severe shortage of skilled technology workers and technicians in China. Among the "Made in China"s that China provide to industrially advanced countries at the expense of natural resources and environment, there are countless low tech, low quality products. As these products are picked up by foreigners at cheap cost, they won Chinese manufacturers and managers disparagement and ridicule. Thus, the 8% GDP growth rate is maintained by the humble selves of those Chinese workers, who serve the Americans and even citizens around globe, who are viewed as worthless by the Chinese government, who are hit the hardest by the economic crisis, and who are always hovering around the poverty line.
  
January 8, 2009, in the campaign against vulgar sites led by the Ministry of Culture (文化部), the State Administration of Radio Film and Television (广电总局), the General Administration of Press and Publication (新闻出版总署) and others, Bulloger.com became firewalled without any fanfare. Since then, I have lost another place where I can chat with Internet friends.
  
In 2009, on Sina alone, 38 of my posts were removed. The government caged our thoughts and our self-expression, while it lectured and scolded from the outside.
  
On February 9, 2009, CCTV's male genital was burned down, making its castrated eunuch image even more vivid. I think a fire on its female genital would draw as much sympathy from the public. After all, no one wants to look at a creature covered with boils and sores.
  
From November 15 to 18, 2009, U.S. President Obama visited China. While here, he accepted an interview request from Southern Weekly (http://www.infzm.com) but avoided mainstream media, a sure sign of distaste for state media's cutting and editing abilities.
  
In 2009, the Internet has become another channel by which the public receive and transmit information. Chinese Academy of Social Sciences in its 2010 Blue Book (2010年中国社会形势分析与预测) pointed out, Internet has become an independent source for news and public opinions. On the other hand, the despicable CCTV, after 60 years of monopoly on news reporting and public opinion, is being ignored and scoffed at. The angry CCTV launched an attack on the World Wide Web. On December 20th, CCAV published "Internet Triad in Control of Public Opinion: Five Million yuan Bribe Can Influence Court Decision (网络黑社会操控舆论:花五万元可左右法院判决)" on Ifeng.com. The shameless castrated eunuch media dares to accuse another of news manipulation, CCTV has really stopped thinking about its words in the haste to lay accusations.
  
In 2009, China as a responsible nation extended more than 10 billion debt relief to Asian, African and South American countries, while preparing to increase limits of loans to Africa. Bluntly speaking, this is just an [worthless] attempt to persuade all these fence-sitting countries from establishing diplomatic ties with Taiwan and to avoid being criticized by human rights organizations.
  
Throughout 2009, cases of forceful eviction and demolition constantly pop up, from "unintentionally striking the tenants" to "violent self-immolation in resistance to the law," the evictors and the evictees are still entangled in this deadly game.
  
In 2009, a realistic TV series called Dwelling Narrowness did not finish airing before being banned. It is difficult to fathom which government nerve it struck, because the series has already made substantial revisions on the original story.
  
In 2009, the person who lost his job over Sanlu diary scandal Changjiang Li received another job--leading the national task force to rid China of pornography and illegal publications. The cream always rises to the top, and the party will never forget a good man.

In 2009, farmers are still not at liberty to make love to their wives. A slightly awkward reality.

In 2009, the most effortless event was the 11th National Games held in Shandong from October 16 to October 23. Why do I say it is the most effortless? Because prior to the open ceremony, 1/3 gold medals had already been assigned, and most of the winners predetermined. The athletes didn't have to compete. In response to this news, vice president of General Administration of Sports of China said: "We have always been doing sports the Chinese way. Whereas Olympics and Asian Games must be held in a limited time frame, and most matches are held in a fixed city during a fixed time period, in China, our games have unique Chinese characteristics."
  
Have the indifferent rulers become more or less concerned with general population's welfare in 2009? Is the censorship more relaxed or strict? I will say no more. The answer is quite obvious after a comparison with "Remembering 2008."
  
One last word, this post with just me will be too lonely. Please, friends, speak up. Talk about the trivial matters you saw. And in this game, we bid goodbye to the old and welcome in the new year.

1. I don't know whether it is intentional, but here the writer used the word "they" intended for animals/objects and not people

January 03, 2010

Hu Ge‘s CCAV News On the Hour

Ever wonder about the form of Chinese state media news broadcasts if not the exact content? Movie director Hu Ge (Bio) is here to show you.

Well, the content in this parody also speaks volumes about how some Chinese netizens regard CCTV.





Here is the GFW-friendly link: I am sorry but neither Tudou nor Youku allows me to upload the video. I can only point you to the vid without English subs.

1. pull up domestic demand (Chinese: 拉内需; pinyin: lā​ nèi xū​)
There are three characters in this expression. The first one la is a pun--it is the same character we use to mean the act that people do when they are on the toilet.

2. domestic demand will continuously "come out" (Chinese: 拉出来)
See above.

3. GDP
The way new anchor pronounced GDP is ji de pi (急的屁), which sounds like "cannot wait to fart"...



For those interested in the Chinese transcript, here it is via Google Snapshot of http://bbs.myiq.cn/archiver/?tid-5230.html

观众朋友晚上好,这里是XX小区XX号群租房.欢迎收看本群租房的精彩节目,本次节目的主要内容有:本群租房间一年一渡的无业游民经济工作会议,在客厅隆重举行.,长期失业在家的著名宅男XX同志发表了重要讲话.无业游民代表XX, XXX; XXX, XX女,XXX出席了本次会议,会议就本群租房的经济问题进行了广泛而深入的讨论,会议首先由XXX同志进行发言,此人长期在家从事IT工作,对世界局势有着丰富的经验和认识,."经济问题的关键就是要拉内需,因此,拉内需就是我们今年的重要工作...."经过讨论,大家一致认为:拉内需是解决本群租房经济问题的关键,为了顺利拉出内需,会议决定赤字300元进行马桶修复,管道疏通等一系列重大项目投资,专家预测,随着这些重大项目的纷纷上马,内需将会源源不断的拉出来,GDP增长将超过10个百分点.

为了解决群租房内人员众多而厕所不足的问题,本次会议还做出了一系列重要决定:记者采访时发现,本群租房内人员往来众多,但厕所只有一个,由于僧多粥少, 导致马桶的通畅率连续18个月内呈现负增长,厕所的发展已经远远落后于群众的需求,此外大便排放量超标问题也严重影响了本群租房的形象,为贯彻落实节能减排要求,保持马桶畅通,会议决定从今天起开始实施厕所管理措施,现就有关事项通告如下:从今天起,本群租房内的房客按身份证号轮流排便,身份证号为单号的只能在单号日排便,双号日停止排便,身份证号为双号的只能在双号日排便,单号日停止排便,新的措施实施以后将有效缓解马桶不足所带来的矛盾,受到了广大房客的热烈欢迎,至于有人提出来可以采用五号轮换制,由于本群租房内的房客普遍患有老年痴呆证,无法记住如此复杂的规则,因此被否决,

随着国际环境的不断恶化,本群租房内的白领们纷纷失业,而这时群租房内的几位大学生又将面临毕业,广大白领对此十分重视,针对毕业大学生的就业问题招开了特别会议,经过热烈的讨论,会议决定大学生毕业后将直接保送成为研究生进行深造,两年之后成为硕士,然后继续直接保送攻读博士学位,博士毕业后将直接保送成为壮士,再经过四年的学习,壮士毕业后将直接保送攻读勇士,假如勇士读完之后,就业形势仍然不好,将直接保送攻读圣斗士,之后还有斗牛士,武士,爵士,的士,猛士,劳力士,路易士,披头士等,如果继续学习,再经过N年的攻读将直接保送成为烈士,与会者一致认为此项措举意义重大,对广大白领们重新找到工作将起到积极的作用,

今天上午,本群租房厕所内的马桶突然发生堵塞,广大群众对此高度重视,迅速赶赴现场,对事故原因进行调查处理,马桶堵塞事故发生后,广大群众高度重视,并分别做了批示,要求迅速排除险情,做好上户工作,查明事故原因,依法追究责任,急时发布消息,公布真相,防止炒作,做好群众的安抚工作,目前膳后各项工作真在有序进行,

另一具消息,今天上午十一点左右,马桶堵塞事故责任人XXX已被群众控制,经过两个小时的严刑拷打,事故责任人X某终于招供是他干的,至此马桶堵塞事故得到了全面解决,广大群众又一次取得了全面胜利,

最近一段时间,本群租房内的一位深患绝症的房客三年内与病魔顽强拼搏的自强不息的感人事迹传遍了房间内的各个角落,请看记者的报道....今年21 岁的XXX是XXX大学的电脑专业的高才生,然而谁也没能想到,这个在同学和老师眼里的电脑技术高才生,在三年前患上了网络成瘾综合证,三年时间里这个面色苍白的男孩,独自忍受着病魔的折磨.在XXX心里,他渴望着能治好病,但由于网络成瘾临床标准是在今年才发布的,因此在三年前患上了此病的XXX错过了最佳的治疗时间,导致病情恶化,无药可救,然而面对如此残酷的现实,XXX并没有动摇,依然坚持每天带病练级,广大房客对XXX坚强不息的精神所感动,纷纷组团来到这里进行参观和学习,在研究网络成瘾综合证方面有着丰富经验的某著名医院也表示对XXX提供免费治疗,然而,XXX却婉拒了医院的好意,他动情的说:不要管我,先抢救其他人要紧...

小区务业以破坏环境卫生为由给群租房下达了整改通知,广大房客对此十分愤慨,纷纷发表意见,大家一致认为,本群租房一贯重视环境卫生问题,在环境领域取得了显著进步,得到了小区居民的普遍赞誉,双方在环境问题上的看法确实存在分歧,但我方一直主张在平等和互相尊重的基础上通过对话与交流妥善解决,然而小区务业不顾我们的反对,执意破坏双边关系,严重伤害了我们幼小的心灵,我们要求务业能以我们双方关系大局为重,充分认识到诊治群租房对双边关系造成的损害, 采取实际行动,纠正错误

http://www.ifs.org.cn/ Hacked and Now Back Online

Institute of Forensic Science Ministry of Public Security P.R.C was hacked Beijing time, January 2, 2010.

The "news" was first exposed on Tianya, and one post recorded the whole process. Of course river crabs soon gobbled it up, which is why anyone clicking on the Tianya link would encounter a "404" error (I really wanted to read it...nothing like food preferred by river crabs to rouse the curiosity).

Call it immature or what not, but it really seems Chinese Netizen bystanders are as excited as the hackers?

The takeover of this government website was supposedly a collaborative effort, as attested by the various IDs left on the webpages.

Here is the poem on the front page.
Perhaps, Love and Not in love
by 清风原木
Dying quietly, remembering you in silence
A hacker as skilled as I still could not invade your heart
Overflowing emotions do not even encounter an echo
Despite of capturing so many servers, I am still a Guest
.....

And the poem goes on, in rather bad writing.

Message left by another hacker. There are misspellings...


More at http://bbs.news.163.com/bbs/shishi/161932242.html

What Netizens were conjecturing:
1. Institute of Forensic Science Ministry of Public Security P.R.C is just a lab. Not that important.

2. You call that a poem?

3. I guess by the poem that the hackers are young. They probably learned a thing or two and thought they are already taller than the sky.

4. People, what do you think are the motivations these hackers have?

They actually were aiming for The State Administration of Radio Film and Television but walked through the wrong door?

Wanted to destroy some criminal evidence?

Fell in love with someone at the Ministry?

Love the jail food?

Just learned a couple of techniques and wanted to experiment?

5. Maybe they will be like that Panda Virus guy and receive job offers after a stint in the jailhouse.

查完一圈回来,发现豆瓣什么统统被和谐了。沉默又有效率。不论如何,国家尊严不容触犯。
 
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