September 28, 2009

Golden Crow -- Ye Who Irritated the Most Chinese Netizens

I have been informed by friends that the annual Golden Crow (Chinese: 金乌鸦, jinwuya) has already begun. Right now it's still in the campaigning phase...the most entertaining phase in my mind. Voting will begin, what, next month?

Tianya forum, which hosts and sponsors this event, likes to compare the award to the Golden Raspberry, but I rather think that the Golden Crow is funnier, more democratic, and shows off more talent (Chinese: 油菜花). Why? Because the whole process, from nomination to voting to the final "award ceremony," is entirely grassroot and spontaneous. Netizens have to campaign long and hard for their "favorite" celebrity to get this dubious honor and, along the way, generate countless satirical proses, poems, and pictures.

For me, the Golden Crow best exemplifies the kuso spirit (definition of kuso here), which has become an inseparable part of Chinese internet culture, mercilessly poking fun at the absurd, the outrageous, and the disgusting.

Here are some of this year's pictures, some funny, some mean, and some astonishingly well drawn. Proses will come later...or not at all....

1. Vivibear

Caption (not accurate):
The heavy-duty military aircraft among all plagiarists.

Campaigning Pitch:
1. Plagiarized >500 authors. Refuses to apologize. Continue to plagiarize even now.

2. Said her friend Li Xin (another romance fiction author) writes only trash, then turned around and plagiarized Li Xin. When news of plagiarism came out, she immediately blacklisted Li Xin.  
3. Copied tons of yaoi stories, but tells everybody that yaoi is disgusting.

4. Copied at least 12 elegiac pieces into her novels.

5. Spying on people who are organizing anti-plagiarism activities by pretending to be one of them. Called her fans retards and inmoral

6. Called her fans cheap bitches.
...and the list goes on...

2. Yu Haoming

(The most innocent of all the nominees.)

Campaigning Pitch:
He was just unfortunate enough to accept a role as the most handsome character in the newest TV series.

3. Ceng Yike

Campaigning Pitch:
The girl who sang like a sheep and played guitar equally badly but still got into Top 10 in the Super Girl singing competition, Chinese version of American Idol.

One of her most popular compositions was later exposed for plagiarism. And of course, she said in response: "That lady's song is really like mine. She must be my twin."

Video of her singing:

4. Chen Luyu

Campaigning Pitch:
This lady hosts an Oprah-like show and is being nominated for the "Pretending to be 13" (Chinese: 装13, or 装B) Category.

For a not exact meaning of "Pretending to be 13", refer to Hyacinth Bucket in the British sitcom Keeping Up Appearances (i.e. pretending to be that which she is not; 装13 has the implication that the said person is fake, artificial, affected).

One of the things that might have contributed to people's dislike of her was that during one of the shows, she laughingly asked a driver who hit a pedestrian: "How high did he fly? Did he rotate a few times in the air?"

5. Obasan Xi Men

Campaigning Pitch:
Thinks of herself as a great beauty and insists on taking a lead role in every single Kung Fu movie that ever contained a handsome male main character.

A really elaborate kuso piece.

References & Voting:

Related post(s)
And This Year's Golden Crow Winners Are...

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